He held his arm out and away from his body. She stared at him, completely bewildered by what he was asking her to do.
“Jason, no… no I can’t.” She managed to stutter.
“Em. I want you to look; I want you to see the pain in my eyes. I want you to see how it makes me feel.”
“We don’t need to do this.” She whimpered. Thunder rolled through the house, and Emily saw a crash of lightning through the window. A tear slid down her face as she pleaded. “Please, please. Let’s just take a walk, Jason. Please, don’t make me do this.”
“Do it!” Another roll of thunder shook the house as his voice bellowed outward. His eyes weren’t looking at her, they stayed completely fixed on the blank wall behind her.
She brought the knife to her chest. It was just like the ones she had used so many times before.
“Jason, please.” She begged him again. She felt the tears beginning to swell in her eyes.
“Do it!” he bellowed, the rain outside finally released from the threatening clouds. It pelted the windows and threatened to let itself in.
She lay her hand on his shoulder and put the knife to his arm. They looked like ballroom dancers, twirling through the moonlight of the Manor’s den. As she looked into his eyes she felt his arm slip around her waist gently. His hand was shaking, and looking into his eyes she could tell he was determined not to cry.
She pressed the blade against his arm, against the scars that she knew fully well would never truly heal. As the first trickle of blood fell from his flesh, Emily noticed that her hand was trembling almost as much as his.
“Again.” He commanded sternly. The only sign that this had even phased him was the pouring rain and lightning outside. For the first time she didn’t find it beautiful or calming, and she wondered whether it was from the pain of his bleeding arm or the fact that he was doing this.
“No, Jason I can’t. I understand. I’ll never cut again, I swear!”
“Again!” he bellowed for the third time. He still wasn’t looking at her, his eyes transfixed into space in favor of her eyes.
Emily brought the knife back up to his arm. She had to take a steadying breath in order to calm her hand.
And she cut him again. But this time, instead of following the first stream of blood to the floor, she looked into his eyes. Silent tears wear streaming down his face, and through the corner of her eye she saw that the rain was pouring harder and harder every second.
She had never seen him cry before. Not even when he spoke about his parents.
“Now you know,” Jason said quietly, his choice shaky and his bottom lip trembling. “How much you hurt me when you cut.”
“I’m sorry Jason.” Emily quavered. She immediately found herself buried in his chest, the tears coming uncontrollably. She felt his arms wrap around her, blood seeping through her blouse.